


honey don’t feed me, i will come back

by mechup



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Other, no one read this thanks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:01:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22256143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechup/pseuds/mechup
Summary: “Doctor,” he says slowly, voice full of mock pity that he manages to make sound believable. “My dear Doctor, we’re both time travelers. Youknowwe don’t always meet in the right order. I have no idea what happened last time because it hasn’t happened to me yet.”
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 117





	honey don’t feed me, i will come back

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song It Will Come Back by Hozier
> 
> thanks to Freya for reading this over for me & helping me with the ending!

“What happened to you?” the Doctor has to ask. She’s losing hope that she’ll be able to get through to him but she still tries her hardest to appeal to him. She sounds urgent. Desperate. Hopeless. It’s so good the Master needs to hide his smile, waiting for her to finish before he gets to see her crack. “What about everything we went through last time we did this?”

“Doctor,” he says slowly, voice full of mock pity that he manages to make sound believable. “My dear Doctor, we’re both time travelers. You _know_ we don’t always meet in the right order. I have no idea what happened last time because it hasn’t happened to me yet.”

“Oh,” she says after a moment. He can almost pinpoint the exact moment she realizes what he means; he can practically _hear_ her hearts breaking. She takes a step back, eyes widened in fear, like she suddenly doesn’t know who he is anymore. He’s the only person who has _ever_ understood her and she’d never expect they’d be able to go back to how they were when they were kids, but now it seems completely hopeless. She can’t help how her eyes prickle with tears, barely managing to say, “So you... you’ve never...”

“I hate to say it but no, I haven’t,” he answers, watching with amused pleasure as her face falls even further when he confirms it. He quickly adds, as if it’ll do anything to help, “But I’m already looking forward to it, Doctor, I promise.”

She doesn’t know what to say, she doesn’t think there’s anything _to_ say, and she forces her gaze away from him. Everything feels like just _too much_ and she’s unsure if she can stop herself from utterly breaking. She spares another glance up at him because while he’s the reason she’s teetering on the edge of destruction, he’s still the one thing she finds comfort in. The knowing, lopsided smile he sends her is enough to make her cheeks burn (whether it’s with anger or hurt or something else, she doesn’t know), a reminder that he — this version of him — is _not_ on her side.

“So what do you want, then?” she eventually asks, hoping she sounds stronger than she feels. She’s never been one to give up but she doesn’t know how she can do this if this Master is _before_ Missy. He might still be the Master, her best friend since practically the beginning of time, but it doesn’t feel like she knows him at all.

“The same thing I’ve always wanted,” he replies casually, as if it’s so, _so_ simple. He hesitates, probably for dramatic effect, and then says, “You.”

“Well, I’m here. You’ve got me,” she tells him, defeated. “What now, Master?”

The Doctor saying his name still causes a shiver to wrack through him, the same way it always has. He moves in closer to her and she meets his eyes, unable to stop herself as she begins to lean in. He closes the distance between them and meets her halfway, both of them searching for what only the other can give them. 

The feeling of the Master’s lips against her own is as addicting as ever. She clings to what little familiarity of him she can get, her eyes fluttering shut as the kiss is deepened. Her hearts seem like they’re racing a mile a minute inside her chest and she reaches out to pull him closer to her, to get as much contact as possible. He might not be the version of him that she needs, but he’s still the Master, still the only person who has ever come close to actually knowing her. 

He walks them back a few steps so she’s trapped in between the wall and him. He’s taller than her this time around, which in a way almost feels wrong because he’s been the shorter one more often than not, and it gives him a rush to physically see the power he holds over her. 

They break apart after a few long moments, the ghost of the Master’s lips trailing down to her jaw, intent on claiming all the space he can get to as his own. This is his first time with this body of hers and he needs to have it memorized by the time he’s done. 

“I have waited,” he murmurs, moving down to her neck where he knows she’s most sensitive, “ _so long_ to have you like this. You have no idea how difficult it was to Whatsapp you all the time without letting you figure out who I truly am.”

He bites down hard enough for her to feel it sting, her hands scrabbling for something to grab onto to ground herself. The pain is present and _good_ and a distraction from all the helplessness inside her chest, to help her turn off her brain from all the hurt and confusion running through her. 

Her breath hitches and he smooths over the bitten skin with his tongue, now gentle compared to mere seconds ago. She doesn’t know what she wants but she needs _something_ , and she reaches down with trembling hands to begin undoing his trousers. It takes her a few tries but she gets it unzipped, quickly moving on to her own. 

He takes her hands in his to still them so he can do it himself, unbuttoning her trousers and slipping his hand underneath. The gasp she makes is pure music to the Master’s ears; this is _more_ than worth the wait. She clutches him as tightly as she can, trying to adjust to the increasing amount of stimulation. 

“Please,” she says, burying her face in his shoulder as she arches up into his touch. “Please, I need—”

“Have you done this before?” he asks, the twist of his hand causing the Doctor to react with a choked off whimper. “With this body?”

She shakes her head, trying to catch her breath. “No, I—. Only with myself.”

The knowledge that he’s going to be her first, just as he’s been for so many of the Doctor’s other bodies, sends a surge of need through him and he retracts his hand, unable to wait any longer. 

The Master is relentless and unmerciful but the Doctor welcomes it, desiring everything he has to give her. She searches for comfort in him that she already knows she isn’t going to find, and she settles with what she can get physically, her hips meeting his with every movement they make. Time seems to slow down — or it speeds up, she isn’t sure which it is — and she easily loses track of everything that isn’t the two of them. She closes her eyes in hope that if she can’t see him, her hearts won’t hurt so much.

“Say it,” he tells her, his voice a reminder that he’s still him. He sounds urgent and she immediately knows what he means, he needs just that extra bit. She hesitates, because saying his name is innate to her, but he’s not _her_ Master. This must be a different regeneration’s Master because hers has already experienced the vault and Floor 507 and every other painful moment they went through together. “Come on, _say it_ —”

“Master,” she obeys before she can stop herself. She’s just as far gone as he is, she needs it too. “Master, Master, please.”

It’s enough for both of them and they topple over the edge together, connected in every way. It’s over much too soon and the Master extracts himself from her, leaving her to slide down the wall to the floor now that he isn’t keeping her standing. She watches him, wanting more than anything to be able to be with him in ways that aren’t just physical. She knows he feels the same way. 

“It didn’t have to be like this, Doctor. If you weren’t so intent on being ‘good’,” he says, as if reading her thoughts. It hurts, to know they’ll never have what they used to. “Things could’ve been different.”

She looks at him, tears in eyes that should never be so full of sorrow, and nods. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> ok i started writing this when we only had Spyfall pt 1 when i still had hope that Dhawan!Master could be pre-Missy. i don't think that makes sense anymore with what we've seen in Spyfall pt 2 so just assume either the Master's lying to her or this is in an alternative universe or something


End file.
